How to manage difficult conversations
Updated: Mar 18, 2021
For some time I have been interested in the political polarisation which seems very present in the time we are living in. Whether this is about Trump, Brexit, Black Lives Matter or Trans Rights, it seems people with different views find it really difficult to hear each other. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts about this and in particular how people get so aroused with people they disagree with. Of course this can be in many areas, such as with your partner or your work colleagues. One thing I would strongly advise is not to get into spats with people on Facebook or Twitter, there is little evidence that people's views are changed in an online exchange of views and it will probably raise your coristol (stress hormone) levels.
I am really interested in the work of Trauma Experts such Stephen Porges, Peter Levine and Bessel Van Der Kolk who talk about how trauma is stored in the body. In the same way through regulating our body in particular through breathing we can feel calmer and therefore engage more easily with people in a potentially tense situation. This following youtube video is my number 1 pick in explaining how this can be done:
The important section is 18:40 to the end of the interview with Jamie Wheal 34:36.